#THE TIMING OF THIS ALL THO
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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You both jump in place for a bit, grinning.
#this is how i feel when i talk to my online friends :)#so i animated it!!! so i can send it to people while saying IM HOLDING YOUR HANDS IM HOLDING YOUR HANDS YAY YAY YAY YIPPEE#i hope u understand they are everything 2 me. they should be the qpps ever. i think they deserve all the joy and whimsy and fun in the worl#in stars and time#isat#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#my art#my animations#technically not spoilers? tho it is inspired by a moment in act 6! teehee!
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@/coma_0423’s cursed cat alastor will bring you happiness ♥️
Lulu scolds the cat
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#I could’ve sworn I posted this doodle#I took a break from drawing stuff to doodle this lol#I’m learning clip studio paint! it’s very exciting but challenging so things are moving slow#rn I’m working on the anthology comic#but then back to my bullshit#but school starts next week#hnggg#im sure I’ll find time to slack off tho and draw#also unrelated to that but related to this post#is it weird that it’s so important to me that everyone knows cursedcatalastor’s author#he really became a sensation#which is cool as hell#but idk I just like the thought that people know who designed this lil guy#ESPECIALLY WHEN PPL TRY TO MONETIZE UGH THAT MAKES ME SO UPSET#anyway lemme go make brekky sorry for rambling#tho if you’re reading this#why do u read all my tags im literally an insane person#okay gtg bye ily#hazbin hotel#my doods#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor#cursed cat alastor#liked by creator#forgot that one#lol it’s what reminded me to post this here in the first place
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I probably won't finish this piece any time soon, but I wanted to share the unfinished version with you anyways!
#i'm just so busy these days I can't find the time to work on bigger illustrations#:(((#I still really like how this looks tho#So I wanted to show it to you all anyways#this is south downs aziracrow#good omens#good omens fanart#good omens 2#aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale and crowley#ineffable husbands#ineffable husbands fanart#good omens 2 fanart#my art
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come back skulk Cub my beloved come back
#hermitcraft#cubfan135#skulk cub#he’s so Normal about skulk#this has given me so many fic ideas#tho idk if I have time to write them all
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2/2
#“better late than never!” ahh post#this quote reminded me of ren's thought process during 2/2. its not supposed to reflect the canon dialogue. rather his internal monologue#had to adjust it a little to fit the context tho#anyway yea im clocking out happy shuake divorce day everyone#the fact that any reality where ren and akechi meet is always destined to end with akechi dying is so fucked up#persona 5 royal#persona 5#shuake#akeshu#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#something about akechi’s death always being a sacrifice…..its always so intriguing to me#like despite the fact that he embraces his identity as an assassin so thoroughly and even thinks virtue and righteousness is blithe#he still performs the most selfless act of all when he’s backed into a corner knowing he will lose#this could be read as a) he would rather go out on his own terms and die making a statement where he actively chooses to sacrifice his life#knowing that the enemy could never kill him in a way that matters bc he has never had an ounce of control his entire life#and for once at least he demands control over his death. if nothing else in his miserable life where everything was predetermined#OR b) deep down inside he still remembers the child he used to be who would idolize heroes and their justice#he may have been a villain his entire life but in that moment when he knows he’s doomed he’d rather let the “heroes” get the upper hand#by buying them time with his death. at least in one way he was able to live up the the childlike fantasy he so cherished#anyway yea auughh akechi….truly made to fuck me up
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I think the scariest part about Batman is the loyalty he inspires. Like this motherfucker has an army of children who might at any given time hate his guts, but are still 100% willing to throw hands for him if Bruce needs them to. And then there’s the Justice League, who also at any given time might hate his guts or find him insanely irritating and/or weird, but will also fall in line and listen to his plans if the need arises. And that’s like the most intense form of power someone can wield—voluntary obedience from people physically more capable than them.
#so I don’t hesitate to say bats is the most powerful in the JL bc yes Supes can level a mountain but won’t if Bats says to stand down#and I mean obviously this isn’t always the case there are exceptions#I’m just saying that it happens enough to be a relevant point of discussion#Bruce is a founding member of the JL and he’s got massive influence over them bc of that#+ he raised his kids to be elite fighters and tho they might not LIKE him all the time his kids do respect/love him#It’s not all about prep time for Bats it’s about knowing the strengths of others and being able to exercise his influence over them to—#—achieve a goal#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#jason todd#clark kent#tim drake#justice league headcanon#justice league#superman and batman#batman comics#bruce wayne headcanon
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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YOU'RE TELLING ME A FRYE FRIED THIS RICE⁉️⁉️
#mari's art#splatoon#TEAM RICE VICTORY PLEASE😇#I LOVE RICE#MY FAVOURITE FOOD OF ALL TIME IS KIMCHI FRIED RICE WITH A FRIED EGG.#also probably wont be able to do Too much artfight cuz im in 4 (splatoon) fanzine projects all with due dates in july#ill revenge as much as i can tho!!!#splatoon fanart#splatoon 3#splatoon art#splatfest#bread vs rice vs pasta#team rice#frye onaga#frye splatoon#splatoon frye
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.
#one of my favorite quotes of all time frome my most favorite movie#and yet i hate the book... tho ive read it 5 times... it makes me mad#the movie is better. u cant change my mind#annihilation#southern reach trilogy#tw body horror
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i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw
#camera talks#disability stuff#this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3#i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually#this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho)#chronic pain#chronic migraine#migraines#chronically ill#disabled#disclaimer because idk I’ve got a lot of notes on this#I have diagnosed chronic migraines. I used to have them 5-6 times a week#now with medication on a good week I’ll only be affected 2-3 days#on bad weeks it’s much worse#anyways don’t doubt my condition I know what I’m talking about thx
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dad issues
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(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#chilchuck backstory stuff#sorta#comic#tw alchoholism#tw death#tw parent death#dont generally tag for death stuff but in this he straight up dies on screen so I thought I should#Uhh I think they all had extremely grim visions bc I think that’s sort of the nature of ghost attacks#I mean Laios’ was basically just him being like “I should’ve died no one would care if i died”#I think Marcille’s would be. Horrifying. Given all her baggage around death.#Tho iirc this would be before Falin’s backfired resurrection#But anyway the mentioning of his father got me thinking#Since at least judging by Laios’ vision#They focus on people who’s death you have baggage around#Especially since Falin wasn’t ever like. Dead dead.#And Chilchuck does mention his father multiple times#Specifically he mentions his death and how he died#Like it seems like that specifically is a notable memory for him#Like you never see him like “my dad taught me to do this”#It seems like he remembers his dad *for* his death#So I anyway I made an extremely grim comic about it#beabell
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b532397de3475d138fb32500b647245c/967814f96ad32334-76/s540x810/127ed02d222e21bbcc4c0cde965f0a7246ef37dc.jpg)
The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#freddy fazbear#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf anniversary#HAPPY FNAF anniversary week!!!#I WANTED to draw a lil thing in celebration 🎉#I’ll probably draw more things throughout the week in celebration#no doubt I’ll have more to draw after announcements/games drop#SUPER excited !!#SO OBVIOUSLY Michael and Vanessa are very excited for the anniversary#they still like Freddy’s after all#they need any excuse they can get to have a good time#though Mike and Vanny aren’t as enthusiastic you could say#Mike think they probably shouldn’t celebrate at all#seeing they’ve only had bad things happen to em 💀#and Vanny is just not even arguing just straight up nah#I bet they’ll get more into the spirit as the week goes on tho 🩵💜#it’s been awhile since I’ve last drawn all 4 of them together!!#so felt the most fitting for rn they return the crew ever
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it's been said before but the FUNNIEST thing about the "intricate and endless daddy issues" line is the fact that's it's not even true. like neil straight up made it up for the plot™ like no wonder kevin was freaking the fuck out because "kevin and i talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time" and they don't??? kevin was probably TWEAKING OUT and neil just kept going.
#zoe yaps#he's so committed to the hater lifestyle#i love him#he took about five years off kevin's lifespan tho#every time i think about this it makes me laugh#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#kevin day
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